The Champ is Here

The New York Yankees, the Dallas Cowboys, the Duke Blue Devils, just to name a few…..Some of the greatest sports champions of all time, are also some of the most hated teams and franchises in sports history.  It feels great to win a championship, but it feels even better when everyone is rooting against you.

Well ladies, gentlemen, and Stephan, - insert Poke Bowls & Powers Rangers.  Tonight, we add another name to the list of sports villains who were ultimately crowned champions.    

THE NFFL TITLE IS COMING HOME TO ASTORIA QUEENS ONCE AGAIN!!  KEER AND BARB PULL UP A SEAT FOR ME IN THE 2 TIME CHAMP CLUB!!!!

Now, on a serious note, before I get into the meat and potatoes of this blog, I’d like to shout out each and every one of you reading this.   Being a part of the NFFL is truly a blessing.  Its something we can look forward to all offseason.  And once the season gets going, the constant groupme banter is always getting me through the slow workdays, especially with this fucking loser that always sits next to me.  Keeper league this, no kicker/no defense that, but at the end of the day, I’m proud to be a member of the NFFL, now and forever!  I guess since Shane lost again we definitely aren’t getting polos but once we do, this league will truly be in a class of its own.    

Next order of business – another overnight destination draft trip.  I’m open to Lake Willy Wonka again, but not if they don’t figure out that air conditioning situation.   

Now that we’ve gotten all the housekeeping stuff out of the way – let’s get down to brass tax.  

As an ode to Shane’s cute list about who he wants to beat on his way to a championship – I figured I would put together a list of my own considering Shane’s dumb fucking list is now null invoid.   Without further ado….

Power Rankings:  Teams I Most Enjoyed Conquering En Route to My Second NFFL Title

#11 Pat – this shouldn’t come as much of a surprise.  Keeps his name out of the spot light for the most part of takes care of his business.  One of the most unanimously liked guys in the league year in and year out.  I take no real joy in beating Pat but, he’s just another opposing solider in my path.  Keep saving lives or whatever it is you are doing out there.  

#10 Fischer – another one I don’t think is too surprising.  A true vibes guy through and through.  It was a pleasant surprise how active he was in the group chat this season, even with his Nickelodeon Sportsbook ass betting tickets.   Never feels good taking money from a fellow member of the tribe but it has to feel good for Fish keeping it within the Temple Beth David community.  L’chaim.  

#9 Greg – Baby bro is what they call a good egg.  First one to reach out and congratulate me on the victory.  Just a good guy who roots for his friends and works hard every day to help his boss Andy retire young.  They don’t make em like Greg any more.  I feel bad taking money from him because it comes out of Andy’s kids college fund but it’s a dog eat dog world after all.  Walmart stock to the moon.  

#8 Joe – My fellow pod chair (more to come on our third host later).   I took no pride in personally ending your season.  Take out all the weird family incest, and it reminded me of Jon Snow putting a dagger in Daenerys’ heart.  Only one of us can sit in the Iron Throne of the NFFL and I know if it wasn’t me, it would have been you.   On god fam.   

#7 Keer – Keers fall from grace this year was not something many saw coming and not something we expect to last for long.  But as a member of the NFFL, you’d be lying if you didn’t say it was nice to see Keer struggle to stay out of the basement this season for once.   It’s not all rainbows and sunshine in the world of fantasy football.  Sometimes life really bakes your bean.   Keer also had some choice words about my “roster management” and “roster construction” on the 1 measly episode that other podcast squeaked out earlier this season.  Just another piece of bulletin board material the future champions had filed away.  

#6 Pape – Pape, I’m taking your money and immediately putting it back into Walmart stock.  Get us up over $100 a share and I’ll consider throwing a few bones your way in the form of Vitos and Fiores subs.  I do really enjoy beating Pape though, fucking guy thinks “knows too much about football to be good at fantasy”.  I think you are just bad at this.  Maybe let MJ run the sqauad next year, it cant get much worse.  

#5 Nicky – it doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it always feels good to finally get the best of this weasel.  The king of stirring the pot.  You know you’ve broken Nicky when he breaks out his patented “I don’t even like football” line.  Embarrassing for a league of this stature but that’s another story.   As long as he doesn’t send Johnny Pepsi after me, I feel great taking Nicks lunch money this season.  We all know he’s already made it back on meme zoink coins by now anyway.  

#4 Barb – Despite the standings this year, one of the most dedicated and passionate members of the NFFL – which makes it that much sweeter to steal that dirty cop money.   When it comes to competing with Barb, it’s the true depiction of nothing but love off the field, but inside the lines we are enemies and competitors.  As for this year, I took his money like stealing candy from a baby.  Someone call the cops!  Hahaaaa!  Suck my dick pussy!  Better luck next year!  Love you mean it.  

#3 Jerk – the bronze medal goes to everyone’s favorite neighborhood Jerk.   You know the story by now, death taxes, and Ryan B losing in some sort of epic post season collapse.   And this year was no different – maybe even one that pushed Jerk as close to the edge as we have ever seen him.   I mean, for those that don’t remember, if not for Brandon Aubrey turning into Brandon Lacarubba, Jerk would waltzed his way to a first round bye.  Avoiding his inevitable first round collapse and eventually would have been crowned champion.  But you know what they about if my aunt had balls.   Although not directly responsible for Jerk’s elimination, it feels good to help keep the narrative alive that Jerk will be the greatest to never win.  

#2 Shane – December 10th 2024.  Shane is breast feeding Jack and decides to write some stupid fucking blog about who he will enjoy beating on his way to a championship.   As you may imagine, I was #1 on that list.   Well fast forward a few weeks and Shane has the chance to put his money where his breast milk is.  Beat me in the final and finally get his name on the trophy.  After a series of duds highlighted by Cooper Kupp, JSN and Charb, Commish was sent home once again with a second place trophy –at the hands of the guy he wanted to beat the most!  Story book ending!!  Rumors are definitely starting to get louder about the #CurseOfThePolos.  Until Shane finally steps up for the league in the polo department, a dark cloud of disappointment could follow him year in and year out.  

P.s. – what size is Jack wearing these days?  I want to treat him to a Malik Nabers jersey with my winnings.   It’s the least I can do.  

#1 Stephan – and last but certainly not least, is the leagues White Claw Rep.  It feels extra special to have someone in the league we know has zero shot of winning but keeps coming back year after year to contribute his money.  It’s what keeps the lights on in the league offices.   **This is about as far as Stephan’s attention span will allow him to read before he fires off some sort of slur in the groupme.**  And keep your eyes on the road big fella, I know you are reading this behind the wheel.   By the way, Juan Soto is a New York Met and the Yankees are a bunch of broke bitches.   Eat shit faggot.  


VENMO IS OPEN PUSSIES, DON’T MAKE ME SEND MY MUSCLE AFTER YOU TO COLLECT!

NOW CUE THE MOTHER FUCKING MUSIC

HAPPY NEW YEAR AND GO PENN STATE!!!!

Love and hugs, 

The Kid

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