Yoffs, No Yoffs Updated
I know, I know, everyone has been patiently waiting to hear my opinion on the matter. Well,
here it is...
We are six weeks in and things are starting to take shape, NOT! I’m not here to just rattle off
the top 7 teams in the standings right now because quite frankly there's a lot of frauds in the mix
right now. With that being said, here goes nothing.
P.S. These will be in order of confidence, so most likely to make yoffs and most likely not to
make yoffs and downward from there.
YOFFFS
Team One: Sauce Barbner
Biggest Strength: Lethal Receiver group
Biggest Weakness: RB Depth
Wildcard: Does Puka have the same story arc as Maui from Moana? Never seen again?
Team Two: Dr Commissioner Murphy CFA
Biggest Strength: Depth and a weak schedule over the next 4 weeks
Biggest Weakness: Nagging Injuries (Saquon, Tee, Gibbs)
Wildcard: The trade deadline hasn’t passed yet
Team Three: Team Upside
Biggest Strength: Breece has been released
Biggest Weakness: RB Depth
Wildcard: Doesn’t have the “step on throats” mentality, wants everyone to “Have Fun”
Team Four: The Big Bean
Biggest Strength: Strong receiving core
Biggest Weakness: Stealing my bench full of handcuffs strategy
Wildcard: #EatTheBean movement gaining national attention
This is where things get interesting. The rest of the teams, I dont trust, I dont like and I dont
respect. But lets give it a go.
Team Five: The Bank
Biggest Strength: Travis Etienne
Biggest Weakness: There's no way Joe will make the playoffs in back to back years
Wildcard: Looming Bank Crisis
Team Six: Ass Backwards Oertel
Biggest Strength: Teams getting Healthy
Biggest Weakness: His two RBs can’t seem to get going
Wildcard: Can you update your lineup in Yug Jail?
Team Seven: 9-5
Biggest Strength: The only pick Troiano made is back and saving his team
Biggest Weakness: He started 1-5
Wildcard: I dont know what a 9-5 is, but i do know that dolly parton song and she has YABBOS
—---------------------------------------------
Thats the Yoffs for you! Here i am, ready to take on the haters, but at the back of your mind,
you already know. Your team just isnt Yoff material. From injuries to “Points against” luck.
All good things must come to an end. I present to you my NO YOFFS list, sorry!
Team Eight: Finkle is Einhorn
Biggest Strength: He loves yugging beers, so there's a silver lining to the future goose eggs
Biggest Weakness: This team STINKS
Wildcard: Greg moves back to Bellecrest and learns a thing or two from Big Bro?
Team Nine: Zynnladen
Biggest Strength: Adam Thielen- lucky pick
Biggest Weakness: lack of braincells and inability to realize his rbs STINK
Wildcard: If he learns how to read we could be in trouble, but unlikely
Team Ten: Filet of Fish
Biggest Strength: benchpress, squat, deadlift.
Biggest Weakness: shoulder press
Wildcard: I actually think he might sneak in, but just keep focusing on those lateral raises
Reminder: These are my least confident picks to miss the yoffs, but these two teams
STINK, and seeing the two of their teams collapse would be better than seeing
Daddarios nips IRL.
Team Eleven: Fuzzy Bucket Boys
Biggest Strength: He has 5 wins already
Biggest Weakness: no more JJ and zero depth
Wildcard: Good Karma, HA! They don't call him the jerk for nothing
Team Twelve: Mr Yocks BBQ
Biggest Strength: He has 5 wins already
Biggest Weakness: You drafted McCaffrey and don’t have his handcuff... HUH?!
Wildcard: He finds a way to hack yahoo
Thats it, YOFFS, NO YOFFS UPDATE
-Commish
